Our son is a married man!!! On October 21st in Darien, Connecticut, Jonathan and Dana tied the knot. It was a fantastic weekend. The wedding and reception were held at the Darien Community Center, a lovely mansion with beautiful grounds. It was a perfect location for a wedding. Most importantly, Dana and Jonathan couldn’t be happier.
On Wednesday, October 16th Dan and I loaded our trusty Subaru Forester once again. This time the car was filled with a selection of wedding gifts to deliver to the kids. Our house is being used as a holding area until the gifts can be given a proper home. Dana and Jonathan’s small apartment, on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, cannot accommodate much of their “loot.” We drove to Fort Lee, New Jersey, just outside New York City taking a Southern route on Interstate 80. I must admit that I didn’t sleep very well that night thinking about all of the stuff sitting in our car. I’m afraid I have a mid-Westerner’s paranoia regarding crime in the Big Apple. But all was well, and after a challenging 45-minute drive that following morning, we illegally parked in front of the kid’s apartment (which is what everyone has to do) and delivered the goods. I got the easy job of staying with the car, while Dan, Jonathan and Dana made multiple trips up and down three flights of stairs.
We were very fortunate that we didn’t have to stay at a hotel for our two-day New York visit. Our friend Eileen’s sister and brother-in-law invited us to stay in their home located around the corner from Jonathan and Dana. How convenient! Of course, we had to illegally park again in order to take out our luggage, but by now we were becoming regular New Yorkers. Then on to the parking garage also just a block or two away. I had used SpotHero to book parking in advance and low and behold it worked seamlessly. The only glitch was a block party that had closed off the entrance to the street of the parking garage. But, the parking g-ds were with us and a road worker just happened to be at the right place at the right time and opened up the barricade.
We spent the rest of the day trying to be helpful. I ran some errands with Dana, while Dan stayed behind and helped clean up the apartment. Jonathan had to locate a tailor as his mail order rented suit came with broken buttons and didn’t fit properly. But we had big plans that evening. We were meeting Jessica, Joey, Bria and Mickey for dinner at Tony’s Di Napoli’s located at Time Square, and then on to see the Lion King at the New Amsterdam Theater on Broadway.
The restaurant was crazy busy for a Thursday night, so it was good Jessica had made reservations. Dan and I arrived at Time Square via subway in plenty of time, but the Meyer family came by cab and were late. Fortunately, the restaurant was accustomed to late arrivals, and while they would not seat us until the entire party was present, they did honor our reservation. The food was served family style and was very good.
Yes, after 20 years the Lion King is still playing on Broadway and the theater was packed. The show opened on Broadway in November 1997. The Meyer family had spent the day at the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Wall Street, and lord knows where else, so I don’t know how any of them managed to stay awake, but the play was enjoyed immensely by us all. The only exception may have been Mickey who exhibited signs of exhaustion—like lying his head on his grandfather’s shoulder. Everything about the play was wonderful. The acting, music, animal costumes, staging, etc. were truly what one would expect of a colorful Broadway spectacle.
Friday was a wonderful day in which Dan and I spent most of the day on our own with Bria and Mickey. Everyone else was doing wedding prep activities, except Joey who spent the day working. After a quick breakfast, where Uncle Jonathan joined us, we headed over to the Natural History Museum located a few short blocks away. All of us had a great time exploring that marvelous place. We went to a special exhibit about the sea where the kids got to build islands, and where special lighting made the land forms shift about. We saw plenty of impressive dinosaur skeletons, and hundreds of stuffed animals. The kids were terrific and we only misplaced them once or twice, but please don’t tell their parents.
Shabbat dinner was at Dana’s and Jonathan’s and we officially met Dana’s parents, Wendy Brezin and Gary Kresel. We had communicated with them several times earlier using FaceTime, but this was our first encounter face-to-face. They were easy to talk to and we enjoyed meeting them. The apartment is small, but we all managed to fit around the dining room table. We enjoyed good conversation over our Mexican dinners. Everyone had a pleasant evening, including the grandkids. We spent a bit of the evening packaging the goodie bags to be given to hotel guests the next day.
First thing Saturday morning we headed to Dana’s shul. I say Dana’s because she has been involved in Kehilat Hadar for many years. It was an interesting and joyful experience. I had never been to such an egalitarian orthodox service.
- Women and men read from the Torah
- Women and men sat together
- Most congregants were young, with a few exceptions
- Singing and chanting was done enthusiastically and with lots of pounding
- Singing and chanting was done entirely in Hebrew
- The congregation was open to the LGBTQ community
I loved it and could see why the community was such an important part of Dana’s life.
I was given the honor of opening and closing the ark, which I managed to do with a little assistance. Services were held in a large room located in the Solomon Schechter Day School. The room overlooked lots of trees, so it didn’t feel like being in the middle of a huge city. After services we hosted a kiddish (light meal) along with Dana’s parents. It was a lovely experience.
It was now time for us to head to Stamford after picking up items from Jonathan’s that were needed for the wedding weekend. We stayed at the Stamford Courtyard by Marriott, as did most of the out-of-towners. Then it was time to eat again. I had made reservations for us and another 27 people at Barcelona Wine Bar located directly across the street from the hotel. To say it was a lively bunch of people is an understatement.
I must admit that ordering was a bit confusing because the menu was fairly complicated. How does one order an assortment of tapas for 29 people with varying preferences. Nowadays there are countless personal preferences such as gluten free, vegetarian, vegan, no red meat, no onions etc., etc. It ended up with us sharing an assortment of dishes by paying a fixed price. This arrangement worked better for some than others. I had to leave before the bill was settled, so I was lucky to miss the confusion that followed. My only comfort was that everyone enjoyed being together and my reservation had made finding a place for dinner in a strange city much easier for everyone. Jessica even connected with a cousin who happened to live in the area, Lindsey Rossen and her two children.
I had left early because Dan and I, along with Dana’s parents were hosting a dessert for our guests at Bar Zepoli, the restaurant located inside our hotel. It turned out very nicely. Everyone had a place to sit and talk and enjoy an assortment of desserts, coffee, tea, etc. It was fun meeting some of Dana’s family friends, and seeing Jonathan’s good friend Shamir again. Jonathan and Dana even made an appearance later that evening.
Finally, the wedding day was here. It was an overcast and a chilly day, but it wasn’t raining, so the decision was made to have the wedding outside. When we arrived at the venue it was clear why Dana and Jonathan had chosen it, and why the wedding would be held outside. The garden was lovely, with roses still in bloom and a running fountain in the center. Unfortunately, there was not much change in foliage, despite it being the third week in October. The chuppah looked lovely with the backdrop of greenery and flowers cascading down its side.
Family pictures were taken outside before the wedding. Everyone looked lovely. The wedding party included two bridesmaids, Jessica Meyer and Rachel Pomerantz. Both women looked gorgeous in their navy dresses. The matron of honor, however, Sarah Taber, was unable to attend. Sarah had the best excuse possible—she was having a baby. (Her son was born early the next day.) The groomsmen, Jason Toth, Jason Kahn, and Shamir Parma wore the same blue suits as Jonathan, and all looked very handsome. Bria and Mickey were adorable and were prepared to do their jobs as flower girl and ring bearer. Of course, Dana and Jonathan were the most beautiful of all.
Prior to the ceremony a “Tisch” was held. Led not by Jonathan, as would have been traditional, but by Dana. It is customary for a groom to attempt to deliver a learned discourse at the Tisch (“table”). But traditionally he is interrupted by his friends shortly after beginning, with lively singing and rhythmic clapping in which all present join to prevent him from continuing. There was also plenty of scotch on the table which helped the participants sing louder and pound harder on the table. It was an extremely lively event. The pounding on the table and singing was so loud that guests below came up to see what was going on. It is supposedly designed to protect the groom who may be less than scholarly, lest he be shamed on what should be his most joyous day. Meanwhile downstairs, Jonathan was hosting everyone at an elaborate appetizer table. There were many great and tasty appetizers and included Jonathan’s favorite, miniature pizza ‘bagels’.
Everyone was well fortified with both food and drink before venturing out for the ceremony. Rabbi Jonathan Lubliner, from Dana’s temple in Jacksonville, officiated. Most of us made it to the chuppah with no problem with the exception of Dana and her parents. For some reason they took another route and ended up a little bit off course. Of course, they finally made it to the front of the chuppah. Their little mis-adventure added a bit of levity to the affair.
The rest of the service went off without a hitch. Silver kiddish cups that had belonged to Dan’s parents and grandparents were used. In addition, as part of the service, the Rabbi read Dana’s and Jonathan’s pledge to each other. Family and friends participated in the service in the reading of the seven brochots (blessings). “The blessings trace the arc of Jewish history from the creation of the world and the Garden of Eden to the rebuilding of Jerusalem, and relate the happiness from those events to that of today’s marriage.”
All of the guests and wedding party yelled ‘Mazel Tov’ when Jonathan broke the glass on his first try. The breaking of the glass acknowledges that as happy are we are today; the world is broken, and not as it should be. We hope to help make the world a more perfect place. Overall it was a very meaningful and lovely ceremony.
After the newlyweds were given a few minutes to themselves, a 30-minute hora began. It’s a wonderful thing to dance at one’s son’s wedding. Dan and I are truly thankful that we’ve been able to enjoy the weddings of our two children. Jessica and Joey will be married 10 years on November 2nd. Interesting how the weddings are just about 10 years apart.
Another unique part of the wedding was what Dana called the “Shtick”. After Jonathan and Dana were lifted up on chairs and danced around – which is traditionally done, they were entertained by their guests. Using signs and props, guests would do their best to entertain the couple and make them laugh. For example, my sister made a poster that showed a child with toy tools stating that he “hit water.” Which is what happened with Jonathan when he was “fixing” my parents sink many years ago. He actually took the pipes apart with his toy tools; we had to call a plumber to fix it.
The rest of the evening flew by. It was fun dancing, talking, eating, and drinking the night away. Bria and Mickey both were sensations on the dance floor. It was truly a marvelous wedding.
It is always a little bittersweet after a major event that has taken months in the planning, has come to a successful conclusion. But it is also a relief. Dana did a fantastic job, with Jonathan’s help. He admitted to doing 25% of the work. A breakfast Monday morning was hosted by my sister and brother-in-law, Amy and Steven; and brother-in-law, David, with his husband of one-week, Craig; along with some of Dana’s family friends. It was perfect, with people being able to order directly off the menu. Then it was over, and everyone headed back home.
Dan and I spent an hour or so talking with Dana’s parents at a local coffee shop after breakfast. It was nice having a little one-on-one chat with them. Jonathan and Dana headed back home. They are planning a honeymoon to Italy come Spring when they both will have more vacation time. We then headed home ourselves, heading first to Hartford.
We are rarely in New England, so it made sense to take the time and visit Dan’s parents’ graves. It was almost dusk when we arrived, but we were able to bring Mom and Dad up to date on the wedding, etc. They were such caring and loving people; our life isn’t the same without them. Dan and I also went to visit their home on South Quaker Lane. Not much change. We ended up staying at the West Hartford Inn, which is a rather run-down hotel. One would think that since it is located in upscale West Hartford Center it would be a much nicer place. It’s not.
Our route home was through upstate New York. We hoped to see Fall foliage, but the trees were still quite green, and as it turned out, the day was rainy. We made a stop at Geneva, situated on Seneca Lake, one of the Finger lakes. The hotel we picked was Bellhurst Castle and Winery. It is listed on the National Register of Historic properties and voted one of the most romantic places in New York state. It was the perfect place for us to stop and decompress.
Since it was raining, we really couldn’t take full advantage of the lovely setting. We did manage to go outside in time to see a double rainbow on Lake Seneca. Then the showers began again and we headed inside. After dinner we headed back to the comfort of our room Frankly, I think that is all we really felt like doing after our whirlwind weekend. By this point, I was coming down with a cold. Funny how I was able to keep it at bay until after the wedding. The next day we headed home on Interstate 90, our Northern route home.
Home sweet home. It really felt wonderful to get home. Now we can reflect on how lovely everything was this past week and look forward to reliving it through pictures.
BY THE WAY WITH WENDY & DAN 